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Rozlyn Cyhiraeth

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Wednesday Very Late Night / Thursday early morning [07 Sep 2003|04:51am]
The night air was cold as Roz left the bar, the three men obediently following her like good little puppy dogs. A sick smile was on her face as she began to sway down the street, her tall boots clicking with each step. She knew exactly where she was going and the dumb fools behind her would never think to question her, were to far gone into lust to think even close to clearly. Her wings were pulled tightly to her back, almost achingly so but it was a pain she loved...a pain that right now she cherished. Pain was her pleasure lately and she very much loved to give that pleasure to others.
They began to near the outskirts of the city and she sensed one of the men becoming slightly fearful. Roz turned around slowly, looking at the man with fiery red eyes. "I like to do it outdoors" she purred and that was all it took for the man to nod his head and follow her without question again. Roz snickered, turning back around and heading to the cliffs...clean up was so easy there.
The wind began to blow fiercely as the came closed and closed to the cliffs, it howling like a beast around the four of them. Roz closed her eyes, letting her wings spread out for a moment and for a brief moment found a solitude in the cold wind that she hadn’t felt in days. The feeling was quickly swept to the side thought, her pain and hatred replacing it the second it was gone.
Roz stopped at the cliffs edge, staring down into the blackness for a long moment before stepping away and looking at the three men, there eyes glazed with her charm and their complete lust. With a seductive smile she motioned forward the one vampire out of the three. He stopped right in front of her and Roz eyed him coldly. She ran her claws down his shirt, slicing the fabric and letting the shirt fall to the floor. The jealousy coming off of the two werewolf men was almost intoxicating but Roz pushed the feeling aside and focused on the man that stood before her. She wanted him in pain, everyone else’s pain helping to numb hers for a time. She wasn’t allowed to kill any of Kai’s men, and that was a promise.
"Do you three accept Kai as your prince?" Roz asked sweetly, licking at the man’s chest. "No..." was breathlessly said by the vampire, the werewolves nodding there head in argument with him. "Are any of you three Kai’s men?" Roz asked just as sweetly, letting her heat flow around the men. "No..." again was heard mumbled from the men. "And are we in Kai’s city any longer?" Roz asked, a smile slowly forming on her lips. One last no was whispered out from the men. The second the word left their lips Roz began to laugh, it sounding seductive at first but slowly slid into something far crueler sounding.
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Wednesday Morning.... [05 Sep 2003|06:28pm]
Continued from the rp, needed to be put in a personal post....Continued from Here

Mature Adult Content, Sexual SituationCollapse )
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Monday Night [04 Sep 2003|03:33am]
Roz sat in front of the fireplace in the house outside of Tainuit and near the cliffs. Her leather outfit was gone and hanging over a chair in the bathroom, a simple blanket covered her as she stared into the flames. "And so I am alone in this city of shit...am I truly surprised that they all left me?" Roz sighed, pulling her knees to her chest, her ribs now healed. "No...Im not...I knew it was getting too good...that I was enjoying it all too much..." she shook her head, her white hair falling in front of her face. She reached over into her bag and grabbed her journal, fishing through it for a pen before she leaned her back against the frame of the bed again.

Verlasen is gone by now Im sure and I do not mourn losing him, it was obvious the last week that I didnt really mean anything to him....another notch on his belt really...no I dont regret his leaving, I regret that in the end he got what he wanted all along...Lucain's death. There is no real reason for me to stay here and yet I dont wish to leave...not yet. Rowan and Sorin....Sorin keeps claiming that he wants to help me but I do not believe his shit...dont believe any male...or anyone for that matter. No I wont get attatched to him or Rowan...stay alone, like I should have from the begining. I am not meant to be with others.
As much as I wish to feel completly dead and numb inside my thought still flicker to Devaan. The pain of losing him would have been great enough, but I sit here unsure of what even happened to him and I do not like that. Yet I cant get myself to search for him, there is no point really is threre? He would have left me soon enough if my demon not had made him. Its best that I forget that he there is a chance he is even alive...he and Verlassen will be dead to me...dead things I can forget and get over...

Roz set the journal down next to her, curling the blanket tighter around her naked body. She knew she needed to rest, she had to go and retrieve Kai tomorrow...but her mind and body didnt want to calm enough to allow herself sleep. Softly Roz began to sing, it had been years since she had...but she was tired....and maybe it would help calm her....till tomorrow when the anger would consume her again.

Skin so cold
I knew you'd go away
and now I put you down to lay
nothing to feel for you
this was our last dance

Closer and closer, it's time to surrender
to the desire that you cannot mention
don't try to breathe
don't try to run away

But I'm reaching for the sky (going to fly)
won't you please stay

With a smile I watch you go
you'll never know I didn't cry
with a smile I saw you die
you'll never know I didn't cry

No more fear
they said you were so weak
and now I put you down to lay
nothing to feel for you
this was our last dance
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Friday [01 Sep 2003|03:15am]
Roz woke up freezing, her body shivering deeply in the cold bath tub. She had not remembered falling asleep after running the bath...but many times now she had blacked out while she cried. Her joints were stiff with cold, her body taking much longer to respond to her comands then it should. Slowly she pulled herself from the tub and wrapped a large towel tightly around her, trying to not shiver as goosebumbs began to cover her pale skin. Her mind was clouded with Sorin's words....her heart heavy as she opened the bathroom door and stepped into he bedroom. Her long hair dripped water down her back as she walked over to the fireplace in the bedroom and quickly started a fire, sitting down on the ground in front of it and pulling the blanket off of the bed to cover herself with. She shivered again, her teeth almost clattering as she struggled to absorb the heat that the fire was beginning to put out. Dried red tears still covered her ivory white face, she needed to feed badly but didnt wish to move from her spot on the floor in front of the fire. Part of her longed for someone to kiss the tears away but she would no longer have that again....wouldnt allow herself too...was afraid to allow herself too...
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Wednesday Late Night [30 Aug 2003|04:18am]
[ mood | angry ]

Roz arrived back at the small house, her eyes pulsing red with anger. Why she was so angry? She didnt truely know anymore but everything angered her lately....everything. Roz threw her dagger to the floor, it impaling into the wood with a thunk as she sat down on the bed, not making any move to become more comfortable. She was angry with Nikt, for taking off and becoming a bitch to find again....though frankly she wished to do the same thing right now. Then there was Verlassen....the fucker had set her up on purpose with that gargoyle the other night...knew in her state it would be hard for her to take on....was he testing her? Was he just being a little shit because he could? Didnt really matter, she recieved payment for the kill and she had survived...survived to live another day wishing to destroy everyone and everything. Her eyes pulsed with fire as her thoughts briefly fell to Devaan...how long had it been since he was gone? A week....no....it was more then that now and she didnt bother to count the days. Either her demon had destroyed him or he had left her...the latter she couldnt think to be true...wouldnt allow herself to think about. She was trying so hard to not care about anything anymore...to hate rather then care....but despite all the anger and rage inside of her it would hurt her if her demon had hurt him. Roz snarled, pulling her other dagger out of her boot and hurling it into the wall, impaling it through a picture of a woman that was hung there.

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Saturday night [25 Aug 2003|04:21am]
Gods I miss him and I despiese myself for it. What happened to the days when nothing mattered but myself? When did I become so weak that things like love concerned me? What snare have I gotten myself trapped into? I cant do this again....I just cant....Verlassen was hard enough. I dont know if what I had with him was really love because I dont know if I have ever felt love....but I cant go through this pain again. I cant worry about someone getting hurt because of me. I cant...care for someone so much that it hurts. Devaan I love you and hate you at the same time....and yet I barely know you. Gods where are you....what has my demon done to you? What have I done to you?
I cant live each day like this...everyday its something new. How much pain can this heart take? Can I take more abuse? Will you hurt me like all the others? Can I love you and fear you at the same time? So many questions and there are no answers in sight. I dont know what to do. Should I run? Should I just turn my back to it all and leave? Does it matter how far I run? I cant run from myself no matter how hard I run. Gods I wish I could just become numb again, care for nothing anymore and just do what I must to survive. But that isnt my life anymore is it?
I sit here in pain and feel myself slowly going insane. I feel as though I am locked in a cage, seperated from all life like Im a disease. Maybe I am...a plague on life, destructer of hearts....I have contimplated leaving so many times and yet here I remain. What am I to do?
I am pathetic...

I hate what I have become...what I have let myself turn into...never...never before would someone who hit me still be alive....never before would someone who left me have a chance with me still....never before have I loved or cared.....what have I become? It doesnt matter what the fuck Ive become...he isnt coming back and I need to fucking accept it. I cant do this again...I wont....I am tired of feeling...so fucking tired...

Roz threw the journal across the room, it fluttering and landing on the floor open, but she didnt care. She looked up at the ceiling and fought to keep herself from thinking further. Instead she concentrated on the pain in her ribs, the ach of her bruises, the throbbing in her mind. She lay there all night, sleep refusing to come to her.
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Friday morning....after her visit from Verlassen [23 Aug 2003|07:54pm]
Roz lay still on the floor, blood dripping almost silently onto the ground from her face and stomach. She hadn’t moved since Verlassen's guards left, was almost afraid to since she didn’t know how bad her ribs were. Her eyes hadn’t opened, still closed tightly as her ribs ached painfully. Slowly she tried to raise herself from the ground and quickly she was back down, her vision swimming deeply and making her almost feel sick. Taking a deep breath she tried again, managing to sit up enough to get her back against the bed. "Starting to think...that there won’t be much of me left by the time Devaan comes...if Devaan comes back..." Roz let her words trail off, trying to concentrate on the task at hand rather then filling her mind with worry about Devaan.
She needed to get up, needed to see how bad the damage was. She knew she hadn’t fed nearly enough to heal quickly and knew that she was in no condition to run out and hunt again...and was willing to bet Verlassen had left another guard or two behind just to tempt and piss her off. With her nails sinking into the bed she pulled herself up to her feet, crying out and hissing from the immense pain that filled her torso.
Obscenities rolled out of her mouth as she walked slowly and carefully into the bathroom. She sighed as she saw her drawn out reflection. Her cheek was busted open, a huge gash going acrossed it that was slowly healing. The back of her head throbbed and as she reached back her hand came back slicked with blood. She shook her head and had to grab onto the bathroom counter to keep from falling as a wave of dizziness hit her. She stared at her haunted reflection for a moment longer before slowly lifting her shirt and looking at the damage done to her torso.
Dark black and purple bruises covered her stomach; lighter ones covered her chest and her back. She didn’t dare to touch her stomach just yet; she decided to wait a few hours at least before trying to figure out how bad her ribs were. Holding onto the wall for support she made her way back to her bed and with a slight cry of pain laid down, uncaring of the blood that would cover it.
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Tuesday sunset [14 Aug 2003|03:35am]
[ mood | discontent ]

Roz's mind was erractic, filled with pain and confusion. She felt Verlassen in the area near her...but not in her room directly. Slowly she opened her eyes and looked around, her visions slightly blurry still. With a groan she pulled herself up to a sitting position, her torso screaming with new found pain. With a hiss she managed to get herself out of the bed and over to her bags on the floor. After a moment she found her journal and with an almost cry of pain, sat back down on the bed and rested her head against the wall.

What am I going to do...I dont even know what I feel...Verlassen has always been there for me, saved me when I needed it and let me go when I needed to be free...he accepts everything that I am. My demons as well as my humanity....he understands my need to kill and hurt....I dont know if Devaan would...Does it matter anymore? Devaan probably hates me after leaving him in his cafe and then in the hotel...I didnt have a choice....I couldnt stand for him to get hurt again because of me....why do I care about these people? Why is it that I care if they feel pain? Why would I be willing to endure all torture to keep them from being hurt? I dont understand any of this.
Nikt...you annoying little bugger...always pushing my buttons...and yet I miss you all the same...how does that make sense? You may hate me by now as well....I wouldnt blame you....couldnt blame you....I havent heard any word on you since all of this happened...I hope you are ok....I dont have the strength to go on a killing spree if someone hurt you...
How did my life become so complicated? I went from caring about no one, running without sorrow or fear, to this....caring for three men....not wishing to run away and when I do I miss you all...life was less complicated then...but it had been lonley. Could I just leave you all? Sever all ties and close my bond to Verlassen and just flee the island? Would I be saving all of you from pain or bringing you more if I left?
It seems the attacks will never end and if they do not end...the pain will not either. In all my life...I have experience so much pain, and survive every bit of it. But this...fire....it eats away at my sanity as well as my strength and blood. I feel as though I am slowly going insane...will I lose myself to my demons? It rages through me and doesnt seem to wish to fade, causing my skin to burn and my mind to pulse with un-natural heat. If I die from a mortal wound, does that mean that I die a mortal? Or will the sins of my immortal life follow me to my grave?
I do not fear death really....I have come so close to it so many times, stared it right in the face, close enough to embrace it...and have returned. But it is rather odd to think of who would care if I did die, there would be no funeral...just a party with very happy people. And in truth...that thought does not bother me either...maybe it should...or maybe it is that I care very little right now....I wonder if my life was a waste...that I went through all of this for no reason other then to die in this city.
It sounds as though I have given up, but I have not. I do not accept to die like this, yet I understand that I may. I will continue to fight, I will not hide behind fear and pain and let others take the blows for me. These fights are about me...for me...they are mine to battle...I can not leave them to others to finish. I do not believe any of them understand this....my brothers would drug me and lock me in a room if they could, but they know when I awoke I would kill them....I do not know what I think of them...but I do not trust them...

She groaned as she leaned over and placed her journal on the table by the bed, laying back down and placing the cloth back on her forehead. She wished to see Devaan again, to ruffle Nikt's air, to feel Verlassen's cool skin....and yet she lay alone and in pain, staring at the ceiling of her hotel room.

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Saturday Morning.... [09 Aug 2003|03:47am]
[ mood | distressed ]

Roz lay in her room with her eyes closed and her body aching with pain. She hadnt heard from Verlassen or Devaan, though she could feel Devaan's presence in the hotel room still. She sighed and rolled to her unwounded side, wincing with pain as a tear ran down her face. She didnt know what to do about anything. She didnt trust her brothers in any sense of the word and she didnt want to put the people she actually cared about in danger again. She was tired of hurting everyone but knew not how to stop it. If she left they would hunt for her and she knew if she left she was dead anyways....though she wasnt sure if that was such a bad thing anymore.
Nikt, Verlassen, Devaan....she didnt know why she allowed herself to care for them....why she would endure all pain and even die for them....but she would and was about ready too. Death was the only way to keep them safe from the waves of attacks that were going to come. How did I get myself into this mess? Roz thought bitterly as she set the cold wash cloth back onto her far too warm forehead. Ethan was the cause of these attacks as far as she could tell, the angels the guards...were all because of him...and his anger was her fault and doing.Its not right for the boys to get hurt because of me she thought as she angrily wiped away the lone tear that had made its way down her face.

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Thursday Late Morning [23 Jul 2003|04:46pm]
Roz walked through the town slowly, taking in the people and there slight fear of her. She wore simple black pants and a white tank top with her leather jacket hiding her wings. She shook her head slightly as her eyes roamed over the people. "I stick out like a sore thumb in this town..." she thought as her clawed hand automatically ran through her bright white hair.

With a slight sigh she walked to a near by clothing store and bought a pair of leather almost biker gloves, they were tight and long, small chains disguised the Velcro that secured the gloves tightly just under her elbows. She would need to cut the fingers off but the gloves would detour eyes away from her sharp claw like nails.

She left the shop and continued to look for another building. She didn’t want to change her hair again, she loved her hair as it was but it stood out to easily in this crowd and if she was going for stealth and trying to blend in…she needed a more neutral color. She sighed again, she would change it back once she became situated in a city again but for now with so many having her description memorized, the hair would be changed.

She walked into the hair salon, it still early enough that they were not very busy. The receptionist looked up at her slowly before asking "What can we do for you today?" Roz looked over the woman. "Long and brown." The woman nodded and walked her back to a hair stylist.

When Roz left the building her hair was just past shoulder length and a medium brown, plain and not how Roz liked at all. It had been at least 100 years since she had brown hair, she usually only did it when she was doing a lot of stealth missions.

It was still early and she had slept almost none at her hotel. She knew she needed to go see Jacob again and speak with him about any other possible missions, so she headed out of town. It did not take her long to reach Jacobs barn and this time she was let right in, escorted straight into his office.

Roz sat down and crossed her legs, looking Jacob right in the eyes. "Greetings again Roz, you did a wonderful job…disposing of that vampire for me." Jacob said with a slight grin on his face. "I aim to please." Roz said simply, her face blank. "That...I am certain you do..." Jacob said calmly as he looked over her features. "You changed your hair, I like it" he smirked again, obviously feeling lust towards her.

"It’s too plain, but best for stealth." Roz said completely ignoring his advances towards her. Jacob sneered slightly but pulled out a piece of paper from his desk, handing it to Roz. "That is your next job, have it completed as soon as possible." Jacob stated. Roz took the paper and stood up, easy enough job, just take out another target. "I’ll complete it by tomorrow tonight" Roz’s voice was too calm as she started towards the door.

"You know it is very rude to ignore someone’s advances towards you." Jacob hissed slightly. Roz turned with a sick smile on her face. "For one doll, it’s rude to make advances on employees and for two..." she paused slightly and looked him over "Id be too much for you to handle." Jacob growled as Roz walked from the room without letting him reply. "We shall see..." Jacob said after the door had been shut and he felt Roz leave the building.
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Tuesday afternoon - Wednesday early morning [23 Jul 2003|01:45am]
Roz arrived back at her hotel, an envelope already slipped under her hotel room door from Jacob. For a moment she was worried that he knew where she was staying, she didn’t feel comfortable with anyone knowing where she was right now, but she knew she would be moving hotels if not islands soon enough.

She walked into the bathroom, pulling off the cloth from her face, and wiped the blood off of her daggers with a towel. She glimpsed her reflection in the mirror and would have been shocked at what she saw but she was too numb. Her face was pale and expressionless. Her eyes held no fire or spark, just a deep red that almost looked black. She looked tired and worn down but still completely and utterly blank to everything that she had just done, like any assassin should be.

After setting her blades back into her bag she pulled off the black cloth from her body and pulled on a white tank top, throwing on her jacket to hide her wings. She grabbed a towel and a few knives, hiding them in the towel, and left her hotel room again. She walked to a gym near her place, it open 24 hours. The streets were empty as was the gym.

She handed the night attendant some money “Warn me if anyone else wants to use the weight room.” She said handing the man some more money, he nodded, and she was let into the weight room. Roz shook her head slightly as she set her towel, jacket, and knives down on the ground. None of this stuff was outfitted for supernaturals. She looked around the room at the weights and smirked slightly, she would have to improvise.

She started at the punching bag, lightly warming up with medium punches and kicks before letting go. Her fists slammed into the bag, her body spinning and kicking it hard. The metal that held the bag up creaked with each forceful hit and Roz new she needed to take it easy but didn’t. Her boot smashed into the bag one last time before the metal holding the bag snapped and the heavy punching bag fell to the floor.

Roz laughed slightly “Guess ill owe them more money when I leave…” she smirked as she walked over to the bench, she went to every bench press in the weight room and took there heaviest weights, slipping them onto the bar. She lay down, her wings pinned under her as she slowly lifted the bar up. She moved the bar up and down a few times, it not heavy enough but it would do. She bench pressed for half the night, her arms tiring and slowly begin to burn, which was the feeling she wanted.

She set the bar back on its rest and sat up, rubbing her arms slightly. She put the weights back where they belonged before walking over to the treadmill and turning it on its highest setting. She loved to run, to let her legs thump against the ground with each step, but it wasn’t easy to run like she liked in a human city, so she settled for the treadmill for now.

It was almost dawn by the time the night attendant knocked on the door signaling that someone else was coming into the weight room. Roz quickly stepped away from the punching bag, which she had managed to fix by heating the metals back together, and grabbed her jacket. She got it on just as a group of young woman walked into the room. They laughter stopped as they saw Roz, small scowls on there faces. Roz laughed lightly as she grabbed her towel, making sure the blades didn’t fall out. “Don’t worry girls; I have no intention of working out around you. Wouldn’t want to…show you all up.” Her laugher echoed through the room as she strolled towards the door, scoffs and angry hisses from the group of females following her.

Roz tosses some more money at the attendant, who was the first person to smile at her in the whole town, and left for her hotel. The streets were slowly coming back to life as the sun began to rise, but Roz paid no attention to any of it.

Once she got in her hotel she took a quick shower and changed into some new clothes. She quickly packed up her bags and set all the furniture back in its original spots. She looked over the room to make sure she got everything before walking out of it again and throwing the key to the owner. “I’m sure you will miss me doll” Roz smirked; the man scowled at her but said nothing in return, he was glad to be rid of her.

Walking out to the town square with her bags in her hands she looked over the city. She had seen a few hotels around but wasn’t sure if she should stay. After a moment of debate she headed to another smaller hotel a little further out of the towns downtown. She didn’t know if Jacob had another jobs but he paid decent, so she would give it another day or two before leaving.

The woman behind the counter looked at her with a fake smile plastered on her face. “No fake smiles or pleasantries, just give me a room with few to no windows and a good lock on the door.” Roz said simply. The woman didn’t let her forced smile falter as she grabbed a room key and handed it to her. Roz snatched it up and handed her the money, enough for two nights at least.

Grabbing her bags again Roz headed towards her room and opened the door. She set her bags by the door, after she locked it, and looked around the hotel. She scowled as she saw that it had two windows, a small one in the bathroom and a larger one in the bedroom/living room area. The room had a lot of useless furniture though and Roz was sure she could break something enough to use it to board the windows for a bit…and she wondered why hotel owners hated her.

She flopped on the couch, the hilt of her father’s dagger pocking her in the side from the pocket inside her jacket. She pulled off her jacket and looked at the blade. She still wanted to throw the thing away and forget that she even had parents, but her mind wouldn’t listen and so she set the blade back in her jacket pocket and let her head rest on the couch arm, trying to rest or at least calm her thoughts.
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Tuesday morning [22 Jul 2003|12:36pm]
Roz awoke at dawn, the sky slight dark and deserted outside. She climbed out of her bed and walked straight to her bag of clothes. She peeled off what she was wearing and pulled on a pair of tight black pants and her flat soled black boots. She grabbed the black cloth and began to wrap it around her upper body and head, pulling her wings in tightly and wrapping the cloth around them completely.

After placing a few holy water daggers on her she pushed the furniture from the door and stepped out into the cool morning air. She began to walk quickly and silently in the shadows, her body hidden from human eyes sight. She headed straight out of town, having a hard time finding shadows to hide in as she came to the open street. She slid into fields and behind bushes, wishing to keep herself out of sight as much as possible.

Passing Jacob’s Roz continued down the road, as Jacob had instructed her. She came across another run down building, this one looking like a large ordinary house. She stayed in the shadows and watched the few guards that walked around out front, trying to look as though they were apart of the place rather then guarding it, Roz new better.

Roz sensed into the house, getting a feeling for where the vampire was, second floor. She watched for a moment longer, circling the place from the shadows to find the best way inside. "Ah...a balcony..." Roz thought to herself as she circled the building. Only one guard stood near the balcony and Roz smirked as she pulled a blade out and sighting it, hurling it quickly at the guard from the shadows.

The guard would have cried out as the knife buried into his chest but the fast acting tranq that she had covered the dagger in took control and he began to fall towards the ground quickly. The second the man was down Roz was out of the shadows and running towards the building and up the wall of it to the balcony.

She wanted to laugh as she reached the platform; the balcony doors were slightly open to let a cool breeze into the house. Smirking she slipped through the doors and into the house. She was in an office which luckily had no one in it. Roz climbed up the wall again and began to climb across the ceiling, her claws sinking in silently as she moved.

Guards were in the hallway underneath her and Roz tried to move past them quickly. She had her power shielded as much as she could and she hopped that the fact that they were very young would help in them not sensing her. Silently she reached down with one clawed hand and opened the door to a bedroom, crawling in, shutting the door, and falling gracefully back to the ground.

The vampire was sleeping silently in his bed, no guards no weapons near him. Roz had to smirk then, it hidden behind the cloth, this was too easy. She neared the bed and pulled a holy water dagger from her boot. Once she came close enough to him she slammed the blade down through his throat and into the bed.

The vampires eyes flew open and he tried to make a sound but Roz had severed his vocal cord. He thrashed on the bed and Roz pulled out two more blades, stabbing them through his arms and pinning those to the bed as well. Roz watched him for a moment, savoring the look of fear and anger in his eyes. Stepping back from the bed flames began to dance of the man’s skin as Roz watched.

The vampires mouth opened and closed with soundless screams, his body thrashing and pulling on the daggers. A dagger came loose and he struggled to pull his other arm up but it was already to late. The flames ate away at his flesh, burning him slowly and with no mercy.

Roz let her flames die away and leave just a pile of ashes left on the bed, the flames only burning and destroying the man...nothing else. Scanning the room she spotted a window, the sun rising in the sky and shinning through the glass. She looked through the glass and saw no guards below, wasn’t guarded well during the mornings at all...

She noiselessly broke open the window, setting large pieces of glass to the floor at her feet. Once the window had been cleared Roz jumped from it, landing hard on all fours on the street. As she ran she sensed for guards and smiled when she felt none following her.
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Monday [22 Jul 2003|02:35am]
Roz awoke early that morning, not remembering going to sleep last night. She grunted as she sat up, her skin healing and sore. Blood covered the bed from her wounds and her clothes were destroyed…well at least the shirt was. She sat up and walked into the bathroom, taking a quick shower, it hurting and burning her tender skin.

She looked at the clothes in her bag, needed something that she could hide weapons in but was…assassin looking since she was determined to find the supernaturals that were outside of the towns limits today…she needed a job…needed something to keep her mind off of everything.

She pulled on a leather zip up halter and a pair of leather pants, tucking in a blade anywhere there was room. She brought every kind that she could find; never meet a new supernatural without having as many weapons as you could carry. She pulled on her boots and tucked blade into those as well as she grabbed her jacket.

She moved the furniture from the door and stepped outside, the sun high in the sky and beating down on her. She avoided all the glares of the people as she headed back out of the town, not letting her guard down at all for worry of an attack again.

She headed for out of the town, walking down the always strangely empty street. She sensed as far ahead of her as she could and this time vaguely sensed a vampire. With a smirk on her lips she began to race down the street, her boots hitting the pavement almost silently as she ran.

She ended up in front of a large barn, the doors shut and the windows boarded up tight. She sensed deeper into the house, knowing they could sense her if she could sense them. She let her power and energy surround her, making sure they would feel her, would know she was not someone to be messed with her. Her aura pulsed red with power as the barn doors opened slightly and a male werewolf was pushed out.

“What do you want?” he shouted at her, slowly walking forward but obviously instructed to stay back from her. “I am looking for a job.” Roz said simply, approaching the wolf quickly and almost laughing as he walked backwards away from her, trying to not make it obvious even though it clearly was. “Supernaturals…tend to have a need for my skills more then humans.” Just as she ended her sentence a vampire stepped out of the barn.

He was not an elder but was close to it in age, but his power was not enough yet to be considered such. “And I am willing to bet you are the one in charge.” Roz said turning towards the man and ignoring the wolf near her. “That I am, what kind of skills do you have, and what is your name, demon” the man asked, his voice gruff. He was a large man, very broad shoulders and built like a Scotsman.

“I shall tell you my name once you tell me yours. As for skills…I can do whatever is needed.” Roz looked at him calmly, letting her power still pulse around her. The man looked at her a moment before answering “My name is Jacob.” He said simply as he watched her. “Then the name is Roz.” She replied.
Jacob nodded his head slightly and motioned for the wolf to open the barn doors. “Please, follow me; I may have a job for you.” Roz walked towards the barn slowly, her paranoia very high lately. “I like to have some sort…of insurance before I walk blindly into some vampires home.” Roz said stopping just before the barn doors. “Do you not trust me?” Jacob asked with a slight leer. “I don’t trust anyone doll.” Jacob nodded his head and grabbed the wolf, throwing him at Roz.

“Keep him as a human shield then.” Jacob stated as he walked into the barn and shut it after Roz walked in with a blade out in her hand and the wolf in front of her. The inside of the barn did not look like a barn at all, it had been completely redone and looked like a normal home.

She followed him into an office and the door was shut behind her again. She kicked the wolf’s knees and made him fall slightly so that she could sit and keep him in front of her. “How are your…stealth abilities?” Jacob asked as he sat down in a chair in front of her. “I can sneak into a vast majority of places without being seen, and I leave no fingerprints.” Roz said setting her hand on the desk to show that she had no fingerprints.

Jacob smiled as he looked at her hand “By that alone I know you have been a merc for some time.” Reaching into his desk draw he kept his eyes on her, sliding a piece of paper to her. “That is the address of the vampire I want you to take down. He is not much farther down the road but he seems to think that he should have more control of things around her and I would like you to show him… that he should not.”

Roz took the paper, a price already written down at the bottom. “Half the money now, half after I kill him” she said, her words set in stone. “How do you want him killed?” she asked. “Silently, but slow. He should feel the pain of his death but make no noise, he has many guards. I am giving you this chance because you are new to town. Any word gets mentioned that you work for me, anyone finds out, and you are dead. Do you understand?” Jacob hissed.

“Yeah I get it doll, pain I can do and silent I can do. So give me half the money so that I can get this job done with quickly.” Roz pushed the wolf away from her, his body hitting the ground from the shove, and stood up. Jacob handed her an envelope of money and she let herself out of the office, she rarely asked to leave.

Roz walked back to the town quickly, keeping all her senses open for a possible attack but luckily there was none. She reset all the furniture in front of the doors and window and sat on the bed. She looked at the slip of paper again. “Tomorrow he dies….and I get a new hotel room at least…” Roz said out loud as she pulled off her boots and set them by her bag. She downed a few more bottles of blood, snarling at the taste, and laid down on the bed.

She peeled off her jacket and looked at the burns on her, they were almost healed. They had to be healed by tomorrow, wearing tight black cloth over burned skin is not…a smart move. She looked up at the ceiling, the money in her hand still. It felt good to have a job again. Even when she had done jobs for Verlassen it didn’t feel like a job, felt like a favor. Maybe…getting back into her old routine…few jobs then leave…would help her miss Tainuit less…make her go numb to everything again…
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Sunday early morning [19 Jul 2003|03:31pm]
The boat finally docked in Tunet, Roz’s wings hidden under her old leather jacket. They ached with pain, not healed enough to be so tightly hidden, but it mattered not...she didn’t need to be attacked the second she got off of the boat. She gathered her bags as they tethered the boat to the dock, the humans quickly filing off of the boat. Setting her bags over her shoulder, her wings aching even more, she stepped off, looking at the new city. She had only been to Tunet once before, stopping through on her way to another island a long while ago, but the city had not changed much.

It was a small human city, stores covered the streets around the dock and there was a small over populated town square. Looking around the town Roz got a sense of unease....something was off...something was wrong, but she couldn’t place it. She sighed, her hands holding her bags as she started into the town. She wanted to find a hotel right away, needed a place to try to sleep or rest.

As she walked she felt eyes on her, had her reputation flowed through this city as well? She sighed again, not wanting to have to leave the town just as she had arrived in it. I am just being paranoid... Roz thought vaguely as she paced through the streets, heading for a moderate hotel down the road, or what looked to be a hotel. Arriving inside the hotel the owner looked at her oddly. "We don’t like new comers in our town." he said eyeing her. "That concerns me not, I need a room and you shall give me one." Roz threw some money onto the counter, waiting for a key to be given.

"I don’t have to do nuttin." the man said but his hand already reached out and handed her a key, not looking very pleased with it. Snatching up the key Roz grabbed her bags again, throwing them to the ground as she reached her room. It was a moderate sized room, bathroom bed and a very small kitchen like area. Looking around she was pleased to see that it had only one window.

She pushed the heavy end table in front of the door and the tall closet/dresser in front of the window; she would need to buy supplies later to board the window up with later. She couldn’t feel safe in this town, had to bring back her old habits of locking, boarding, and chaining everything closed while she slept or rested. She flopped onto her stomach on the bed, her head pulsing with pain and tiredness. If she was going to find work...or protect herself...she would need to sleep but she did not know if sleep would come to her.
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Saturday [18 Jul 2003|07:31pm]
Roz looked over the side of the boat, the mist spraying up at her and coating her skin, she was too tired to care. She now remembered why she hated boats...they took to long. But her wings werent healed enough to risk flying...so she had no other options. The humans wore smiles, the sun filtering down over all of them. Roz tried to let the sun warm her, calm her urges to smack the smiles off of the mortals faces...

Her demons ragged inside her and Roz spent her time trying to calm them, trying to learn as best she could to control them. She knew she could never fully beat her demon...never be able to tame it completly...but she couldnt keep losing herself to it. Her mind couldnt survive falling prey to the demon every time she lost control.

Roz sighed, her clawed fingers rubbing her temples slightly, her head pounding with pain still. I need a bed...blood...and to sleep for days.. Roz though to herself as her eyes scanned the water surrounding her. She vaguely wondered how long she would survive if she fell in and had to swim...she knew it wouldnt take long for her to freeze to death.

She growled slightly, leaning back carefully on her wings. They were healing, the bones had fussed back together correctly but they were still very weak and tender. Her claws ran through her hair, the chains clanking together as she moved. She wanted more weapons on her...knew she was too weak to be able depend herself against an attack. "Even if I am healed...will I be able to survive another attack. What is Ryu is right and they bring in a Celestial? Then I kill the damn angel like Ive killed all the others and continue to run...always run until I take out the source..and I dont know who that is..." Her thoughts were shattered as the worker from yesterday aproached her again.

"Miss can I get you anything? You look tired" the worker asked catiously. Roz looked up slowly, her face too blank. "Something to drink would be nice." The worker nodded and walked off. Roz's eyes went back to the water, hoping that they would arrive soon. Before she returned to her thoughts the man walked back up to her, a mug in one hand and a blanket in another. "Here you go miss." Roz half smiled, she didnt realize that she had been shirvering again. "Thanks..." she said as the man left again, leaving her to herself in the back of the boat.

Roz wrapped the blanket around her, it helping to prevent her from becoming more cold as she drank the blood from the mug. She made a slight face, she would always hate bottled blood. Roz finished what was in the mug and sat it next to her as she leaned her head on the side of the boat, closing her eyes and trying not to think...
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Friday....After Leaving Tainuit and on her way to Tunet... [18 Jul 2003|03:41am]
Roz's boat docked briefly in Zambet for fuel, the driver had raced through the sea trying to pick up lost time, Roz not leaving the boat at all. She didn’t want to move, didn’t want to try to start over again. "How many times...have I had to start over? How many times have I run? How many times have I hidden what I am? When will I become used to it..." Roz thought dimly from the back of the boat. Roz dreaded when they would dock at the city of Tunet, on the island of Fericit. She would have to hide her wings then...and her wings were not healed enough for that yet. Laying her head against the side of the boat she wished she could sleep, her body craved it, but her mind wouldn’t let her.

Her skin was remarkably pale; she knew she was running herself to hard. She should have waited another day or so to leave...but she couldn’t have, and it was to late now. She watched as people started to board the boat again, all sitting away from her and giving the "demon woman" in the back dirty looks. Roz shook her head slightly; at the next stop she would hide her wings. She ran her fingers through her hair, it slightly damp from the gentle mist of water that covered the boat as it glided through the water. Everyone else always seemed to enjoy it, except for Roz.

She was freezing but didn’t want to risk getting anything out of her bags and flashing her array of weapons. So she sat in the back of the boat, cold and miserable. She vaguely wondered what kind of work she would have to get into at Tunet, wondered what her mind could handle her doing anymore. Fuck that...I’m still me...Ill do whatever the fuck I have too...I have a month or more worth before I have to find a job... Roz sighed slightly, she had left most of her money in Tainuit, transferring it back into Verlassen's account before she left. She didn’t feel right taking it, she couldn’t explain why. She rubbed her hands together, trying to get warm as the boat launched again.

She needed blood badly, her body unable to heat itself again. But it didn’t matter how much she needed it, she wasn’t dumb enough to pull out a bottle of blood and drink it on a full boat of humans. The image of tearing all of the mortals apart and covering the boat in blood flashed in her mind and she hissed, grabbing her head with her hands. I have gone longer without blood....without killing....the island isn’t far... she thought to herself, pushing her demons down. A worker walked over to her slowly, handing her a travel like mug, it purple and meant for coffee or the sorts. "Here miss...its not see-through...works fo..." Roz cut him off with a glare. "Works for what?" she asked watching the man carefully. "We get your kind sometimes miss, we are instructed to make all our customers happy...Its bottled though…" he said implying to the blood in the cup.

Roz could smell the blood, knew it wasn’t fresh...wasn’t what her body and mind truly craved...but it would help. Roz grabbed the mug, her claws encircling it. "Thanks..." she said waiting for him to leave her be before gulping it down. The taste was horrible, but it caused her mind to clear slightly and for some color to come to her skin. She set the empty mug beside her and leaned her elbows on her knees, the chains clanking as she moved. A few humans glared at her again and Roz licked her lips at them, a woman gasping in shook and turning back around quickly.

Roz laughed slightly, setting her head in her hands and rubbing her temples. "I am going to hate living among mortals again..." she thought with a sigh as the boat continued through the water.
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Poor Pathetic Roz.... [16 Jul 2003|02:09am]
Lying in my own grave
Not realizing each move buries me
Dirt falling on my face
Do I even care?
Tears on my pale face
Streaking the dirt to mud

This is the last time
No more fighting
Give into the pain
Let myself fall away
Bury me alive

No one is listening
To my silent screams
Pain in my eyes
That my voice can not speak
My time is done

-By me-
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Monday Morning - afternoon [14 Jul 2003|03:38am]
Roz hissed and groaned with pain as she tried to move on the bed, Verlassen asleep soundly next to her. "How can be so calm all the time....I sometimes wonder even my death would make him show anything..." Roz thought painfully as she tried to move. The doctors rushed at her. "Miss you can’t be up and walking yet...it will just make the fractures and breaks worse...please just lie down and heal." Roz stared at the doctors "fuck off…" she hissed at them as she sat up on the bed, hissing and gritting her teeth in the pain.

"Miss we don’t want to have to tranq you." a doctor said. Roz snarled deeply, her hands balled into fists. "If any of you tranq me I will rip out your spines slowly and hang them on my wall." she hissed out each word, her eyes filling with fire. The doctors paled slightly, all hearing the stories of the destruction she had caused and knowing she would do it. They backed off slightly, knowing Verlassen would have there heads if she became hurt worse as well. They were stuck between two evils and right now only one of them was awake and threatening bodily harm, they didn’t stop her from moving.

The wounds on her chest had healed from Verlassen's blood, only a few thin pink lines from deeper stab wounds still showed on her pale skin. Small white barely visible scars covered her chest from the holy water daggers and holy water ice darts that had been stabbed all over her. Just more scars to add to her growing collection. The piercing on her wings jangled slightly as she moved.

The pain was slowly dimming with each hour that she did not strain herself; whatever Eric had...done to speed up her healing was working once she had enough blood in her to actually heal. The fractured and broken bones still ached but she was healing, physically healing at least.

It took Roz much longer then it should have for her to walk into the bathroom, slamming the door behind her and locking it. She leaned heavily on the tiled counter, her arm aching from her weight but she ignored it. She turned on the water scalding hot and began to wash the blood from her face and hands. Drying her face she looked in the mirror, her eyes wide and haunted. She starred long and hard into the mirror...hopping if she looked long enough her old reflection would come back....but life did not work that way.

With a snarl she smashed the mirror, not wanting to look at the weak thing she had become any longer…not wanting to see the blood that slicked her body from her uncountable kills...not wanting to see her tired and worn face any more. She sat down on the toilet and placed her head in her hands, fighting back tears that wanted to form. "What the fuck have I become...." she hissed deeply, looking at the shards of mirror that covered the bathroom floor.

"How did I become so fucking lost....how did my past become stronger then I am...." Roz hissed again, punching the bathroom wall and her knuckles exploding with blood. "I used to be unstoppable....now my emotions make me weak....make me pathetic....make me lose control...." Roz snarled again, struggling to get back to her feet. She wanted a shower more then anything right now but the splints on her wings prevented that. She used the towel to wipe away as much blood as she could before opening the bathroom door.

The doctors watched her closely as she walked, slowly and painfully, by all of them and into Verlassen's bedroom. She hissed and held back a scream as she bent down to go through her bags of clothes, she wanted out of this damn swim suit...wanted it burned away. Peeling off her blood soaked swim suit she held back screams of pain, it hard to move still.

She shuffled through her bag and pulled on a white button on shirt, taking great care and time to slip her wings through the slits of the shirt, snarling with pain at any touch of the cloth to her wings. She buttoned two buttons on the shirt before pulling on black silk underwear and a pair of black pants. She felt slightly better....less murderous...and slightly more human....but there was a loneliness and confusion in her mind that no pain would be able to cover.

Groaning she stood back up, looking out the window at the sun, wanting to be out in it and feeling its warmth rather then be caged in this house....it would always feel like a cage to her...maybe everything would...she shook her head slightly, limping back to where Verlassen slept. She knew he would wake soon...would be pissed or happy that was up walking around....she wouldn’t tell or show anyone how much pain she was still in....

She was a better actress then anyone she had ever known....act like she was fine...make everyone believe she no longer hurt...the sooner she would be free to leave...and feel the night air again....she hated the indoors anymore...she sat back on her bed, gritting her teeth to prevent herself from screaming. she was freezing and the holy water still burned inside of her...her wings pulsed with pain.....everything still hurt immensely...but....it didn’t matter....
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ooc: a song that is like how she feels..... [10 Jul 2003|09:40pm]
[ mood | confused ]

"It's easier to run
Replacing this pain with something numb
It's so much easier to go
Than face all this pain here all alone

Something has been taken from deep inside of me
The secret I've kept locked away no one can ever see
Wounds so deep they never show they never go away
Like moving pictures in my head for years and years they've played

If I could change I would take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
If I could take all the shame to the grave I would
If I could change I would take back the pain I would
Retrace every wrong move that I made I would
If I could stand up and take the blame I would
I would take all my shame to the grave

Sometimes I remember the darkness of my past
Bringing back these memories I wish I didn't have
Sometimes I think of letting go and never looking back
And never moving forward so there'd never be a past

Just washing it aside
All of the helplessness inside
Pretending I don't feel misplaced
It's so much simpler than change

It's easier to run
It's easier to go"
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Thursday Very early morning...ooc: and yet more tales of the past... [10 Jul 2003|05:27pm]
Roz lay curled around the fire in the forest outside of Vite, her body trying to take in as much of the heat as she could. The ground underneath her was freezing, the forest filled with a cool breeze and rain threatened to fall. Roz sat up slowly, wrapping her arms around her knees as she stared into the flames of her fire.

Her eyes never blinked as the fire reflected in her blood red eyes, the smoke billowing up and out of the forest. She tired to keep her mind clear but her past kept trying to force itself on her. She shook her head deeply, scowling as it began to rain. "shit" she hissed as the fire started to sizzle and go out.

She threw some dirt onto it and crawled towards a tree, pressing her body against it as the rain began to pour down. "Cant catch a break today..." she hissed as she looked up at the sky, rain flowing over her face and cooling her skin. Her hair was soaked within minutes and she was freezing despite the jacket she wore.

The sun began to destroy the night, the sky slowly filling with color. The sun’s rays began to glint off of the rain droplets but the rain did not seem to want to lessen or stop. Roz curled tighter around herself, trying to user her wings to block the rain from completely soaking her clothes. She was freezing and still weakened from her fight, at least her leg had almost all healed.

Her head thumped against the tree as she looked at the rain drops hitting the ground, the sound of the downpour filling the forest, if she didn’t hate rain so much it would be an almost beautiful sound. She closed her eyes, her memories instantly flooding behind her closed eyelids. She sighed slightly, not having the energy or the care to fight them anymore.

Memories of the past...Collapse )
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